Reviewed by Nikyta
Title: Lost in Indigo
Author: V.L. Locey
Series: Colors of Love #1
Heroes: Mathieu & Indigo
Genre: M/M Contemporary
Length: 233 pages
Publisher: Self Published
Release Date: July 8, 2018
Available at: Amazon
Add it to your shelf: Goodreads
Blurb: Mathieu Beresford was so close to seeing his dream come true.
The thirty-eight-year-old captain of the Buffalo Surge had led his team to the final round of the playoffs with his aggressive defensive play and leadership. During the first game of the championship series, he was taken down, and his leg snapped upon impact with the boards. From his hospital bed, Mathieu watched his team go on to win it all.
Adrift in anger, resentment, and the new direction of his life, he returns to his mansion along the St. Lawrence River. Alone and sulking, Mathieu is not prepared for Indigo Neu to enter his life. The genderflux twenty-year-old botany major signs on to play nursemaid, confidant, and groundskeeper over the summer and slowly leads Mathieu out of his confusion––one tender smile and touch at a time.
The deeper Mathieu falls, the more he wonders if being lost might not be so bad after all.
I won’t go into much detail about the story because the blurb pretty much sums it up. What I will say is that Mat is a very emotional and confused man. Now that he’s not actively playing hockey, he’s forced to sit around and really think about his life. I liked that he had a hard time coming to terms with the possibility of his hockey career being over. It was intriguing to see him struggle with the fact that a major part of who he was would be ending. However, it was confusing to me why someone who wanted to play again would not care about his recovery. It drives me nuts that people ‘want’ to be back to 100% but they don’t listen to the doctor or a healthcare professional when they say you need to rest and recover and need to do this and that to get there. Instead, Mat’s just all over the place, overexerting himself, ruining his cast, doing all this stuff that just puts his recovery farther behind and then got angry about it. You did this to yourself, Mat, you have no right to blame anyone else!
However, a highlight of the story for me was Indigo. He’s a genderflux character, which I adored because you never knew which way he would lean on any given day. I loved seeing how different he could be and I loved how Mat would describe him because it showed how intensely Mat was attracted to Indigo. Indigo, though, was a ray of sunshine in comparison to Mat’s gloominess. He literally brightened the room and I loved how optimistic he always was. It was sweet for him to think he could be with Mat in secret but I found Mat’s agreement to allowing Indigo to be his secret lover completely abhorrent because who can put someone so spectacular in the closet?! RIDICULOUS!
It’s hard for me to review this book (and I feel like a broken record for how much I’ve been saying this) as I found it a little hard to read because I wasn’t a very big fan of Mat. I felt like his emotions and feelings were very realistic but I also felt like his love for Indigo didn’t ring true to me. A majority of their time together was spent having sex, at least that we see, and most of the ‘getting to know each other’ happened off screen (for the most part) so I wasn’t convinced on Mat’s love for Indigo, especially since he only decided on that love after he knew his hockey career was over.
I think, if Mat hadn’t gotten injured, he never would have allowed himself to have an out relationship with Indigo and that pisses me off because it shows just how selfish and cowardly Mat is… I didn’t even believe his ‘admission of love’ for Indigo. I wanted him to grovel, I wanted him TO SHOUT IT TO THE ROOF TOPS that he was in love with a man! Instead, it’s a quick ‘I’m going to spend time with the man I love’ and then he runs off. I was very disappointed with that. Also, the ‘nurse’ aspect of things was over the top, it could have been handled better and just showed that Mat didn’t have a backbone and for someone who openly supported LGBTQ, he did a piss poor job of stopping a nurse from treating Indigo like dog shit for being genderflux.
Overall, I liked this book but I wasn’t a fan of Mat. I think if we had gotten Indigo’s POV, maybe I could have enjoyed this one a lot more but, as it was, Mat was just not a likable character for me and I felt like Indigo could have done better. At the same time, I do feel like the author gave a realistic view of things and that made me like the story. It was angsty and made me angry but that’s why I enjoyed it because it brought out a lot of emotions in me. Give this one a go if you’re looking for a good closeted sports story with a bunch of angst and smut.
Overall Impression: I liked it
*I received a copy of this book from the author in return for a fair and honest review.*