Exclusive Excerpt from A Share in a Secret
by Jude Tresswell
(Mike’s and Nick’s first night together gets a little tense…)
It was midnight. Mike lay on his back, briefs and a T-shirt still on deferentially. Nick, in boxers, lay in the crook of Mike’s arm, his right leg across Mike’s bare thighs. So this was what it was like to be held by Mike Angells! Mike was quietly talking.
“I think we all find it hard to imagine how you feel. Sex seems so natural to us. ’Course, we only do it to keep fit!”
“To keep fit?”
“Yep. Gospel accordin’ to Phil, who is a very, very naughty man underneath that respectable Doctor Roberts exterior.”
“Phil?!”
“Phil says that sex uses more calories than runnin’ up a flight of stairs, and bein’ a doctor, he should know. Anyway, you didn’t think that Raith got all those erotic ideas for his sculptures from out of his own head, did you?”
“Yes!”
“No. Well, yes, but he’s picturin’ him and Phil, or Phil and me. Phil always tops so that should tell you who’s who in the sculptures, if it wasn’t clear already. He’s an expert on bodies, of course!”
“I’m speechless.”
“Well what did you think happened? Don’t tell me you’ve never ever wondered who did what.”
“I won’t say it hasn’t crossed my mind. It’s never stopped me going to sleep though. It might now!”
“Ha, but just in case you think we’re a load of sex-mad maniacs, we’re gettin’ old and it’s hardly an every night thing.”
“I can’t imagine… wanting to do it.”
“I can’t imagine the opposite.” After a moment Mike said, “But this, lyin’ here like this, this is okay?”
“Yes. Very nice.”
“Good.”
“It’s what I’ve been wanting for months, if I’m honest,” Nick said, breaking the easy silence that had followed Mike’s “Good”. “I’ve wanted to hold you and be held by you. Cuddle close. Nuzzle up. Feel quiet and cosy and relaxed. Then, at other times I’ve thought that was the last thing I wanted in case you wanted to do more. I knew I couldn’t let you push me into doing more. It’s just not the way I am.”
“It’s really hard for me to understand. I mean, I don’t want to fuck with everyone I see; I have to be attracted to the person, but, if I am attracted, then I don’t half know it! Me prick gets hard. Me pants get tight.”
“But you’re a sexual animal. I’m not. I wouldn’t be attracted in the first place. That reaction simply isn’t there.”
“Hrm. It’s like there’s a bit lackin’.”
Nick sat up, stung. “What do you mean? Lacking?”
“Hell, I’m sorry,” said Mike. He’d hit a nerve. He could see that.
“Well? What did you mean?”
“I just meant that… I’m not sure… that it’s as though some part’s not there. I’m sorry. Stupid thing to say.”
“Yes, it is a stupid thing to say! And trust a fucking gay to say it! You’re in a room full of beautiful women, okay? What happens between your legs? Well? Anything?”
“No.”
“So one of them comes up to you and shoves a tongue in your face. What do you do?”
“Point taken.”
“No. Point’s not taken. Do you feel you’re lacking something essential just because you don’t want sex with women? Some part not functioning properly? Is a bit of you broken?”
“No, of course not. I’ve said I’m sorry. I am. I’m sorry I upset you. I didn’t think.”
“For half my teens and half my twenties I thought there was something wrong, Mike! Something lacking. Something crucial not working as it should. So first I thought I might be gay, but that didn’t work either. So then I’m thinking what’s gone wrong? Finding out about asexuality was wonderful, but do you know what? I thought that I was aroace. Not sexual. Not romantic. And then I met you, and I couldn’t understand why I kept thinking about you. Why you’d drift into my head when I was going to sleep, or drinking a coffee. And I even thought, well maybe I’m not ace at all. Maybe it’s as they often say: it’s a question of finding the right person, but then I’d think some more and I’d know that wasn’t so. I didn’t want to fuck with you or have my tongue in your mouth, or suck you off, or have you suck me… I’m not attracted to you in that way. Some aces get to a point where they can do that after they’ve known a person a long time, but I don’t think that’s a place I’d ever get to. I suppose that, in one way, I wish I could. But there’s nothing fucking lacking!”
About A Share in a Secret
Mike, Ross, Raith and Phil are a gay, polyamorous quad who live in County Durham, North-East England. Mike’s nephews visit, and launch the quad into a tale involving inclusivity and investment scams, false arrest, and a desperate attempt to keep a dangerous secret hidden.
Meanwhile, Nick Seabrooke is now living and working in the village. Can the quad navigate the complexities of a sexual-asexual relationship? They would risk their safety for each other. Are they willing to do so for Nick?
This is the fifth County Durham Quad story. As always, background information is included for new readers.
Available at: Amazon
About Jude Tresswell
I’m married, I’ve grown-up children, I’m asexual (although a different sort of ace from Nick) and I do enjoy writing stories that aren’t constrained by hetero-norms.
The plots are always stimulated by something on the news – in this instance, the homophobic reaction of some people and groups to the UK government’s decision to introduce lessons on inclusivity into the school curriculum.
I enjoy writing light dialogue as well as dealing with serious issues, though, and I hope that some of the quad’s interchanges will make readers smile.
I talked about myself and my books on Brad Shreve’s Gay Mystery Podcast (an episode entitled Four Times As Much Mystery) in April, 2020. (Link below)
The Blogger Girls 