Exclusive Excerpt from As I am
by Melissa Collins
“So, I take it you and Rob are familiar with each other?” he asked, sarcasm dripping from his words as they fell from that lopsided smile I wanted to kiss off his face.
“He’s the asshole ex,” I responded plainly, tipping my head over to a gazebo to the side of the lot. We walked in silence, only the sound of gravel crunching under our feet accompanying us. We settled onto the old, wooden bench, careful not to get too many splinters. Facing the star-filled sky, I chewed on my words in my head. Who was I to Chase, after all? No more than a one-time fuck. That’s all it boiled down to. Whether I felt a connection to him or not, it didn’t matter. Yet, despite knowing I had no right to ask, I asked, “Why are you here with him?” And the second the words were out of my mouth, I regretted speaking them. The less I knew about Rob, the better.
But before I could take back my words, Chase answered my question, only muddying the matter even more. “I have no clue,” he muttered, running his hand through his messy hair. The silence settled around us, but it was an easy one. Only the sound of Chase speaking cut through it. “Do you think about that night?” he asked, his voice paper thin.
At even the slightest mention of it, my body sat on edge. Did I think about it? Only every night. But there was no way in hell I could tell him. Shrugging, I answered, “Not really,” sounding not the least bit convincing.
Chase heard the change in my voice, the raspy neediness I’d never be able to conceal when I thought about him touching my body. “Really?” he asked, cocking his head to the side, his lips pulling into a wickedly crooked smile. “Never?” he taunted, nudging me playfully with his shoulder.
Even the slightest touch from his body had heat racing all over my skin. “No.” The word stuck in my throat, amplifying my neediness beyond all reason.
In the blink of an eye, he moved from his seat and stood in front of me. Wedging himself between my legs, his placed his hands on my thighs. My muscles twitched under the not-so-gentle caress of his fingertips. “Not even at night? When you crawl into bed all by yourself?” he asked, moving his fingers up my thighs with every word, inching his way closer to my hardening cock. “When you can’t fall asleep because you’re thinking of me, you don’t touch yourself?” He pressed his body into mine. His dick pressed against mine and a fire of heat flashed across my body. “You don’t stroke yourself? Eyes closed? Thinking of me? Pretending it’s my hand on your dick instead of your own?” His mouth was so close to my ear, his breath cascaded over my skin, making me shiver with need. “You don’t come, your body shaking, with my name on your lips?”
On his last word, he nibbled on my earlobe, forcing a groan to rumble from my chest. But my pride got the best of me. “No,” I lied.
“Liar,” he accused, before pulling away from me.
It could’ve been a game for all I knew, but I sure as fuck didn’t care. My fingers wrapped around his wrist, pulling him back to me in a hard crash. “And you?” I asked, my lips no more than a centimeter from his.
His eyes searched mine as if he actually needed clarification. Swallowing hard, he said nothing which offered me the perfect opportunity to toy with him, just as he’d toyed with me.
“Do you think of me when you jerk yourself off? Wish it was my mouth instead of your hand?” Letting the few drinks I’d had earlier take over my good senses, I nipped at his neck. But just as I’d feared, one taste of Chase would never be enough. “You don’t crave my body?” I asked, my words heavy with the desire I’d been carrying around, a burden like no other, for the last few weeks. On a coarse whisper, I asked, “You don’t want my body again? The way I want yours?”
His body melted into my touch. Leaning into his neck even more, I inhaled his scent, needing it to be part of me more than the oxygen filling my lungs. “Just tell me,” I spoke, my lips moving against his skin. “Tell me to stop. And you can walk right back in there to him, and I’ll leave you alone.”
His head fell backward, exposing more of his neck to my lips and teeth. And who was I to deny him what he wanted? Digging my hands into the flesh of his ass, I pulled his body against mine, grinding my cock against his in what was far too close to reckless abandon for a public space.
“I can’t,” he rasped, leaning into my kiss. “With you…” He groaned, his breathlessness setting me off like nothing ever had. “With you, I just can’t.”
“Thank fucking God, because I can’t keep my hands off you for another second.” His words were all I needed to take his body. The way he rolled his hips into mine let me know I wasn’t taking a damn thing; he was giving it to me. All of it. He was mine and I was his.
Who would you become if you lost the only person who ever mattered?
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