Honorary Blogger Nic Starr: Why Is It So Hard to Open Up to Those We Love? + Giveaway!


Why Is It So Hard to Open Up to Those We Love?

by Nic Starr

Hi everyone, I’m Nic and I’m thrilled to be here with The Blogger Girls. Thanks you so much for having me.

Recently I caught up with a close friend, in fact one of my oldest and dearest friends. It’d been a while since we’d had a chance to really talk—all too often real life gets in the way—so we’d had the odd dinner and phone call but not really talked. We hadn’t spoken about the important stuff, like the details of the marriage break up she is currently going through.

But this time we did talk—we also laughed and cried and drank lots of wine—and this time she shared some of what was happening behind her usually happy and outgoing façade. Enough time had passed that my friend was able to look back on her relationship with some objectivity, distancing herself from the more emotional side.

The recurring theme was the communication within her relationship. Or to be more accurate, the lack of honest communication. It turns out that both my BFF and her husband and spent a lot of time—as in years—thinking they knew what the other was thinking and what the other wanted. Surprise! They had no idea of what the other one really thought.

You want to live overseas and love the glamour of international travel and the expat lifestyle – WRONG

You love the challenge of climbing the corporate ladder and get immense satisfaction from your career – WRONG

The result? Years of ‘sacrificing’ to give the other partner what they thought they wanted. Years of ‘supporting’ each other. Years of sacrificing and supporting to do something neither of them were really passionate about doing. All which lead them to the point they are now.

How can two people who love each other get it so wrong? Surely open communication should be easy? But it’s amazing how often it’s not.

In my novella, It’s Not Easy, miscommunication rears its ugly head, as does making decisions based on what other people think—or more correctly, what they assume the other person thinks. Ben is making decisions driven by protecting his family and Spence is making decisions based on his love for Ben. Their hearts are in the right place, it just takes a while for them to realize there are other paths than the ones they’ve chosen.

I hope you enjoy Ben and Spence’s story.



About It’s Not Easy

It's Not EasyBen Cooper gave up on following his dreams to keep the peace in his family. Best friend Spencer Henderson has always been Ben’s rock. For Spence, who is in love with Ben, supporting Ben always came first, but as Ben starts to date their friend Suzie, Spence has to think of himself for the first time. The ramifications of one fateful night means leaving their small town may be Spence’s only option to protect his broken heart.

With trouble escalating at home and Spence out of reach, Ben finds it harder to cope. Without Spence’s help, Ben’s life may finally spiral out of control.

If you are thinking of purchasing through Amazon and haven’t already signed up for Amazon Smile, do consider it. Amazon Smile lets you nominate a charity (I’ve chosen Lost N Found Youth) which will receive a small % from your purchase. Every little bit helps!

Available at: Dreamspinner Press, Amazon and All Romance eBooks


About Nic Starr

Nic Starr lives in Australia where she tries to squeeze as much into her busy life as possible. Balancing the demands of a corporate career with raising a family and writing can be challenging but she wouldn’t give it up for the world.

Always a reader, the lure of m/m romance was strong and she devoured hundreds of wonderful m/m romance books before eventually realising she had some stories of her own that needed to be told!

When not writing or reading, she loves to spend time with her family-an understanding husband and two beautiful daughters-and is often found indulging in her love of cooking and planning her dream home in the country.

You can find Nic on Facebook, Twitter and her blog. She’d love it if you stopped by to say hi.


Nic has kindle offered up an eBook copy of It’s Not Easy to one luck winner!!! The giveaway starts now and ends August 31, 2014 at 11:59 p.m. To enter, just click the link below!

Rafflecopter Giveaway

Please be aware that the only way to enter the giveaway is to click the Rafflecopter link above. Any comments on this post will not count towards entering the giveaway, except to verify your Rafflecopter entry.

Don’t forget to check out Susan65’s review of It’s Not Easy to see what she thought of it!

Good luck!

Categories: Book Promo, Giveaways, Honorary Blogger Post, LGBT | Tags: , , , | 15 Comments

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15 thoughts on “Honorary Blogger Nic Starr: Why Is It So Hard to Open Up to Those We Love? + Giveaway!

  1. Ardent Ereader

    Hi Nic, I enjoyed your post, it is so true, we tell ourselves we know what the other person is thinking/feeling and more often than not we are wrong or not quite correct. I look forward to reading Its not easy. Thanks for the giveaway.

  2. Communication is so important to all of the relationships in our lives. Thanks for the giveaway.

  3. Loved the post! There is nothing better than communication in a relationship. That may truly be the down fall of most. Thanks for the giveaway.

  4. Cornelia

    When there is honest communication relationship improves.

  5. JenCW

    Honest communication, while it can be difficult, is really important in a relationship. It’s all too easy to assume you know what the other is thinking or feeling and take it the wrong way.

  6. Rod B

    Great post & giveaway!

  7. Barbra

    Communication can be VERY difficult. 😦 but, Thanks for the giveaway. 🙂

  8. please count me in

  9. meredith king

    Such an awesome post. Thanks so much for the giveaway

  10. DebraG

    Thanks for the info on Amazon smile. I shall check it out. Thanks also for the great giveaway.

  11. H.B.

    Thank you for the interesting post. Communication is a key factor in a long term relationship.

  12. Lori Moore

    Sounds good

  13. Thanks for sharing and you’re right communication, communication, communication begins and ends relationships

  14. Enjoyed your post about miscommunication and misunderstandings in relationship which is so easy to do especially in an established relationship. Thank you for a chance to win ‘t’s not so easy’

  15. Nic Starr

    Thanks for all the comments to my post. I wish you all the best of luck in your relationships with lots of meaningful communication. xx

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