What To Know About Under Five
by Michael War
Thank you to The Blogger Girls for having me today and allowing me to talk about my upcoming release, Under Five, with you. Let’s get to it, shall we.
Here are four things that you should know about it:
- Yes, it does deal with cock size (can I say that here?) When I read a romance story you always get descriptions of these beautiful, long and thick appendages that have the uncanny ability to pleasure everyone in sight. I know because I write about those too. So when I was writing this (which actually started a long time ago), I wondered what would happen if some youngish stud was worried about whether or not his was big enough to please someone else. Feeling inadequate is something I think a lot people can identify with on some level.
- It looks at this from a comedic angle. While I guess the subject does have some angst to it, I didn’t want it to be too heavy on the whole “am I big enough” thing and decided to use it as the springboard for something outrageous to happen. Everyone wants their questions answered, but they aren’t always prepared for how it occurs. Mike, the MC, uses a spell to gain insight. Anyone who has ever seen a movie or read a book based on similar concepts know that this never goes as planned. I’m hoping that the twist is a surprise; one that people really don’t see coming.
- It’s set in Chicago, but I don’t think I ever say it by name. I do reference driving by the lake (which represents going along Lakeshore Drive) and being in awe of tall buildings. I love Chicago and have made it my home the past few years, which baffles me why I didn’t actually say it by name. Perhaps a part of me was afraid of getting some terminology wrong, or inaccurate locations. That’s something I regret now, though I think in my next book I will actually say it.
- I tried to infuse a bit of my Mexican culture in it. One thing that I have felt my books lacked in the past was a connection to my heritage. I have main characters who are Latinx, but other than their names and a few words of Spanish, I don’t think it’s ever referenced again. This time I wanted to dive a little deeper and explore some situations and ideas that reflected that part of me. I really think it helped deepen the story and I am looking forward to doing that in future stories.
Well, that is it. I really hope you enjoy the story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I honestly did have a lot of fun writing it. I think the magical aspect helped, since it allowed me to stretch the idea a bit without too much constraint. Yet, somehow I think Under Five still contains a sort of realism to it, one that some people can see themselves in. Happy reading!
About Under Five
Mike is good looking, charming, and has no trouble attracting men—as long as his clothes stay on. But the moment they come off, something always seems to go terribly wrong. When his sister takes him to a faith healer to fix the problem, he is provided with a spell—and left with a lot of doubts.
But after meeting Kevin, Mike decides to give the spell a try…
Available at: Amazon
An Exclusive Excerpt from Under Five
“I still can’t believe you brought me here,” I said, feeling my snark return.
Carmen put her finger up to her mouth. “Shhh! Trust me, she can help you, but you have to behave.”
I rolled my eyes and glanced at the different books, pulling one out so I could see what was inside.
“Can I help you?” said a voice from behind me. It was a tiny, older woman, probably in her 80s. Her words caught me off guard, so much that the book that was in my hands went flying through the air. All three of our eyes followed the book’s path as it flew before landing perfectly into the arms of another woman.
She was much younger than the first one, around her late 30s-early 40s and with the most luxurious long, black hair that I have ever seen. I had been so focused on the hair that I expected her to be in some sort of gypsy outfit but was surprised to find her in just regular jeans and a t-shirt with a cat on it.
“Señora, it’s so good to see you,” Carmen said as she approached the woman for a hug.
“Carmen, it has been far too long,” the woman replied. “How did the interview go?”
“I got the job. Thank you so much for all your help.”
“My dear, that is what I am here for. Now, who is this handsome young man?” She asked as she walked over to me.
“This is my brother, Mike. He needs some of your special wisdom,” Carmen stated as the woman began to circle around me. She didn’t say a word back, just continued to walk around me the way a dog does when it smells something in your pocket.
“Yes, yes he does,” she finally said while stopping right in front of my face. “And I think I have just the thing.”
“But I haven’t even told you why we are here, um, Miss, um?”
“Francesca, you don’t need to be so formal,” Francesca said with a smile. “And you do not have to tell me what you need, your presence says it all.”
I must admit that while I wanted to run as fast as I could out the door and to the nearest yogurt place, I was a bit intrigued. After all, I had come this far, and you pretty much have to go on at this point.
Francesca motioned for us to follow her with a simple wave of her hand. At first, I wasn’t sure what she meant, but when I saw Carmen walk towards her I realized we had to go in that direction. Again, what I was picturing wasn’t at all what I got.
I thought we would be walking into some dimly lit room with candles everywhere, along with shrines to various saints padding the walls. But what was there was a normal office that did have candles, however they were unlit and still in boxes.
Francesca sat in really comfy looking office chair and signaled for us to sit in the two in front of her.
“Now, I know that you are seeking information, but I need to know the specific thing you would like to find out so I can really help you.” Francesca took out a small notebook and grabbed a pen, then waited for my reply. But before I could even speak, Carmen took it upon herself to talk for me.
“My brother needs to know why he is so unlucky in love.” Carmen turned to me and smiled, but that smile faded when she saw me glaring at her. “Well, it’s true,” Carmen muttered as she turned her gaze to the floor.
“Such a handsome young man, I cannot believe that you would have any trouble finding someone with those gorgeous eyes.”
I started to blush. I am not good at taking compliments, but I somehow managed to squeak out a thank you.
“My, and so modest, too. I know just thing the thing to help you.” Francesca sprang to her feet and grabbed a pair of scissors off her desk. She then walked over to me and took a small piece of my hair. I was so stunned I didn’t have time to try and stop her.
After butchering my hair, Francesca sat back down and wrapped it in what looked like some sort of leaf, then slid it over to the front of the desk. I was still reeling from the hair thing and didn’t move. “Oh, I didn’t take that much off, and you can hardly notice,” Francesca said as if she was reading my mind. She wrote a few things down on her pad, then tore the paper off and handed it to me. I grabbed it along with the hair leaf. The list consisted of a candle and some oil.
“Take that list to the front. Mrs. Quintero will gather the rest of the supplies for you to take home. Once you get there, follow those instructions very carefully. If you do, you will get the answers that you seek.”
“You mean we aren’t going to do this here?” I asked, a little baffled by the situation.
“No. In this case it has to be you, and only you. Or else we could end up with a completely different answer.” Her reply was so ominous that I didn’t know what else to say. Luckily Carmen was there to fill in the beats.
“Thank you so much for all your help. We will let you get back to work now.”
Francesca smiled and got up to walk us out of her office before closing the door right behind us. We handed the note to Mrs. Quintero and waited as she gathered my candle and oil.
“Twenty-nine dollars,” she said with a smile.
“What, for just a candle and oil? That is outrageous!” I scoffed in disbelief. Carmen grabbed my hand and squeezed so tight I don’t think any blood could get through. Mrs. Quintero’s smile turned to pure scorn.
“These are not just regular candles and oil. If they were, you would be able to go to Wally’s or whatever department store you want to get them.” She continued to look at me with fire in her eyes, as if she wanted them to burn a hole right through me. I turned to Carmen, but she had the same look.
“I’m sorry, I think I’m just nervous,” I said with a sheepish grin.
“Mmm-hmm,” was all that escaped Mrs. Quintero’s lips. I took out my debit card, and after I got my receipt I rushed out of there as quickly as my feet could take me. I forgot that I had come with Carmen, so I waited a few moments for her to walk out of the store and drive me home.
As she walked out, I could see her own brand of snark building up on her face. I put my hand up in the air to let her know I didn’t want to hear it, and she obliged, even though she kept that look the whole ride back.
About Michael War
Michael War is a writer whose real life tends to be on the boring side, which is why his imagination seems to float towards gay romance. Aside from writing about beautiful gay men of all types (bears, jocks, twinks) getting it on, he also enjoys writing poetry and screenplays. War holds an MFA in Creative Writing and plans to write more romance themed books in the near future. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook for updates on upcoming stories or with any questions or comments. Or, you can read his blog for some mindless ramblings.
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