Posts Tagged With: Rob Rosen

Ted of the d’Urbervilles by Rob Rosen: Exclusive Excerpt & Giveaway!

Blogger_Exclusive Excerpt

Exclusive Excerpt from Ted of the d’Urbervilles

by Rob Rosen

I crawled through the busted-out window of the deserted house, catching my foot on the jagged sill. In I tumbled, landing with a dull thud and a loud oomph on the junk-ridden floor. Sighing as I righted myself, I managed a “Ta da,” if only for the benefit of the scampering roaches and other assorted vermin I shared my home with—home of course being such a subjective word. Hovel was more appropriate. Dump, yes; dump definitely would’ve worked, too. Hey, let’s also throw in some nifty adjectives here, just to better paint the picture: ramshackle, bleak, moldy, and, um, demolishable. Not that the last one was a word, but this wasn’t a home either, at least not mine, at least not legally, so we’ll go with it.

All that is to say…“My name is Ted d’Urbervilles and I am a squatter.” A mosquito admired my candor as he also admired my jugular. I swatted it away as I hopped up and dusted myself off. I would’ve taken a shower, but the shack—yeah, shack would’ve worked, too—didn’t have running water. Running mice, sure, but water, not so much. Dripping water, but only when it rained. As for electricity, well, at least I could plug my iPad into the wall at the nearby gas station. FYI, I found said device. FYI, I found it sitting on a table at Starbucks. Finders keepers, losers can go buy another fucking iPad. Last FYI, for now, I also showered at the gas station. Or at least sinkered. Which was also not a word so much as a way of life, what with my life being quite, uh, sunk.

By some sort of miracle akin to Moses’s parting the waters—had the hovel/dump/shack had any water, when it didn’t rain, that is—the place did have an Internet connection. Sort of. That is to say, somewhere within some sort of radius of me and my vermin friends there was a person with an Internet connection and a password that was indeed password. Ergo, I had Internet because the nearby he or she was a moron.

So, there I stood, iPad on the counter, the only light that of the screen, illuminating my face as I perused. Porn. Because when you’re dead broke and sucking on a McDonald’s ketchup packet as a midday snack, porn is pretty much the only thing that gets a guy through the day. And night. And, uh, morning. Porn and ketchup. That’s what my life had become. Me and the mice. I wondered if mice liked gay porn. I’d have to ask them. They tended to come out at night, just after I’d come at night and had then huddled myself in a corner.

God, I wished for a fucking break. Or some bread to spread the ketchup on. Or for a blanket, as the corner was rather drafty. Or for a roof that didn’t leak. Hey, even the Internet was spotty, but wasn’t that par for my fucking course? Par and birdie and eagle. Heck, it was a hole in one, and holes I had plenty of: in the roof, in the walls, in the floor, in my ramshackle, demolishable life. Yeah, that last one especially.


I craned my neck up from the drafty, dusty corner. “Ding?” I again hopped up. My ears went left to right and back again. Where had the ding come from? As my ears came to a standstill, my eyes landed on my still glowing iPad. It had been on when I found it. I’d quickly changed the settings so it wouldn’t turn off. So long as it had power, I didn’t need the password.

I walked to the glowing device, my nightlight, my connection to a world I no longer seemed to inhabit. Poverty, as it turns out, tends to relegate you to the seedy recesses of the world. I glanced at my surroundings. “Seedy,” I lamented. I then glanced at the iPad. I’d checked my Gmail earlier. There had been nothing but spam. Numerous people offered me ways to break my timesharing lease. Seemed to me, I was already on borrowed time, which was far more sad than ironic. In any case, I now had a real email, my first in longer than I could remember.

I had no family. My friends had vanished just as my money had. That was also more sad than ironic. Still, I checked my Gmail when I could, if only for consistency’s sake. And now I had an email from one Maximillian Ditmore, Esquire. Maximillian didn’t write for the magazine, namely said Esquire, but he did practice law. Turned out, my cousin Mortimore had died. Turned out, I had a cousin Mortimore. I didn’t know what to be more astonished by, that I had a cousin or that someone could name a child Mortimore. I read further. Didn’t take me long. There was to be a reading of the will, and that was about all Maximillian had to say.

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Categories: Book Promo, Excerpts, LGBT, Published in 2020 | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

Book Review: And God Belched by Rob Rosen

Reviewed by Emilie

Title: And God Belched
Author: Rob Rosen
Heroes: Milo & Randy (and Craig & Tag, not a pairing just major characters)
Genre: M/M, Romance, Comedy, Sci-Fi
Length: 204 pages
Publisher: MLR Press
Release Date: January 26, 2018
Available at: MLR PressAmazon
Add it to your shelf: Goodreads

Blurb: One human attempts to save two worlds, the handsome alien he loves, his entire family, and a self-aware watch in this riotously funny romantic adventure.

In this riotously funny romantic adventure, Randy and his younger brother, Craig, find themselves in a different universe, on a strange planet, desperately searching for Milo, a handsome stranger in imminent danger, all while being chased by the heavily armed local authorities. And that’s just the start of this epic journey. But what else does fate have in store for our brave heroes? And can one human save two worlds, the handsome alien he’s fallen in love with, his entire family, and a self-aware watch? Read on, dear Earthlings, to find out! Continue reading

Categories: 4 Star Ratings, Book Review, Guest Reviewer, LGBT, Published in 2018 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Book Review: Starstruck Anthology

Reviewed by Ami

31436896Title: Starstruck Anthology
Authors: L.A. Merrill, George Loveland, Sydney Blackburn, Charles Payseur, Asta Idonea, Jessica Payseur, Rob Rosen, Jay Starre, Elizabeth Coldwell, Bell Ellis, Avery Vanderlyle, M.T. Aspen, Nicki J. Markus
Series: Anthology
Genre: MM
Length: 320 Pages
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Release Date: September 12, 2016
Available at:  Amazon
Add it to your shelf: Goodreads

Blurb:  Lights, camera, action!

To the average person, celebrities seem to have it all—money, fame, and droves of adoring fans lining up to fawn over them. But a life in the public eye can make romance challenging, and deep down, these guys are looking for the same thing as any other man: someone to share a steamy tryst with between acts or to ride off into the sunset with after the curtain has gone down. Luckily there are those willing to love the men behind the billboards and on-air personalities, and they’re looking for a private performance from their favorite drag queens, musicians, reality TV stars, actors, rodeo champions, and video game designers. Even superheroes and legendary defenders. Money and fame might not always equal happiness, but these celebrities will leave stars in their lovers’ eyes.
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Categories: 2 Star Ratings, 2.5 Star Ratings, 3.5 Star Ratings, 4 Star Ratings, Ami's Reviews, Book Review, LGBT, M/F, Published in 2016 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Book Review: Best Laid Trap by Rob Rosen

Reviewed by Nikyta

BestLaidTrapTitle: Best Laid Trap
Author: Rob Rosen
Series: Sleigh Ride – 2015 Advent Calendar
Heroes: Roy & Josh
Genre: M/M Contemporary
Length: 24 pages
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Release Date: December 1, 2015
Available at: Dreamspinner Press & Amazon
Add it to your shelf: Goodreads

Blurb: Roy has a crush on Steve, so when a work-related ski weekend is offered, Roy jumps at the chance to finally lay a trap for his hunky coworker. An abandoned cabin nearby is perfect for his scheme, and Roy stocks it with champagne, rubbers, and lube. But fate intervenes, and it’s not Steve, but Ranger Josh, who ends up trapped in the cabin with Roy during an avalanche. Roy’s plan might be ruined, but there’s still a chance for a very happy New Year indeed.
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Categories: 3.5 Star Ratings, Book Review, LGBT, Nikyta's Reviews, Published in 2015 | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment