Why BDSM?

by Morticia Knight

I know there are many, many authors who can rightfully say what I’m about to say: I was writing BDSM a long time before Fifty Shades ever existed. I really only write M/M in any genre these days, but the majority of the themes I use are either outright BDSM, or have elements of it within the stories. I’ve had discussions over the years with other readers and writers in this genre and many of us have agreed that the primary attraction to it is the psychological elements.

Before I expand on that, I have to say that I love the sexual aspects just as much. The two combined together? Then it becomes next to impossible for me to write about anything else. But, back to the power of the mind. It’s been said that the most erotic part of our anatomy is our brain. I definitely agree. Being ‘in the mood’ is another way of saying ‘having the right mindset’. If you look at BDSM from a psychological standpoint, then it makes a lot of sense as to why it’s so attractive.

I do want to mention right here, that the mind games that can be played are also why it’s so vital that people play with trustworthy partners. That being said, experiencing the freedom to completely surrender to another person is very erotic. The power of having someone give themselves completely over to you is breathtaking. Both of those dynamics require an incredible amount of honesty and courage. The best sexual interactions are the ones where both partners let go and experience one another in the moment.

But why would anyone need BDSM for that? Couldn’t you just make that happen anyway? I don’t know about ‘making’ it happen, but sometimes there are reasons why people can’t let go – insecurities or fears that prevent complete fulfillment. BDSM can be a way for people to explore those hidden fears and work through them. Sometimes, it’s simply that vanilla sex doesn’t do it for a person. In the same way that I believe that people don’t choose their sexual orientation, I don’t believe that people choose what type of sexual activities they enjoy. I’ve read ‘reasons’ as to why people are inclined this way or that – but overall – I believe it is what it is.

Can past traumas or current fears be explored through BDSM? Of course, but that doesn’t always have to be the reason for it. In Hesitant Heart (The Hampton Road Club 1), it’s the 1920’s and Sam has escaped his abusive father and landed in Hollywood. He’s eighteen, innocent, and naïve. When the older, Dominant man Aaron rescues him from a disreputable bathhouse, he discovers something about Sam that the young man is horribly embarrassed to admit.

When Sam was younger, probably about twelve or so, he was playing Cowboys and Indians with a friend. When the friend tied him to a tree with some rope, Sam got excited, and when that friend ran his fingers along the ropes, pulling on them, Sam climaxed. It’s such a humiliating story for him, and he’s sure something must be wrong with him, but he trusts Aaron enough to confess it anyway. When Sam finds out that Aaron likes to tie men up for sex – well – it’s a match made in heaven.

During the time period in which this book is set, this never would have been something these characters could have discussed with any of their friends or family. Men who enjoyed such activities had a double dose of fear by not only having to hide that they were gay, but that they indulged in darker passions. Writing BDSM in this context is challenging, but I love it because the psychological themes are even more poignant in my opinion. All the men in the world of The Hampton Road Club are naturally pre-disposed to dealing with various psychological issues. But when they love, they do it with everything in them because it’s so much more precious when they have to fight that hard for it.

About Hesitant Heart

Sam is a naïve young man who arrives in Hollywood to escape his brutal father. When the older, sophisticated Aaron rescues him, Sam discovers what it means to fully surrender himself to another.

Eighteen year-old Sam Cunningham is used to living with lots of secrets. He’s had to hide his true nature his entire life or else incur the wrath of his strict and abusive father. When he’s faced with a horrible ultimatum, he flees to Hollywood where he hopes he can escape the fate his father has planned for him.

Aaron Rubenstein is a wealthy and sophisticated man who loses himself in painting portraits of bound men to help stave off his loneliness and despair. Unable to find a lasting connection with anyone, he’s had to resort to paying lovers not only for their affections, but to be allowed to indulge in his darker passions. Aaron’s only respite is his nights at the Hampton Road sadomasochism club where he’s a respected Dominant.

Naïve and inexperienced in the ways men can please one another, Sam takes a job at a bathhouse where he first glimpses a beautiful older man. Aaron notices the sweet towel boy watching him with interest every time he patronizes the Temple of Eros bathhouse. A traumatic incident for the innocent towel boy triggers Aaron’s protective tendencies and he’s compelled to rescue the gentle Sam from the clutches of the Temple’s manager.

They embark on a journey together that teaches them both things about themselves that they never knew. As their bond deepens and Sam is trained for his first night at the Hampton Road Club, an unknown danger lurks. Will Sam’s father find him and destroy both men’s chance for true happiness together? Or will Aaron protect his boy and keep him for always?

Available at: Totally Bound and Amazon

About Morticia Knight

M/M and M/M/F Erotic Romance author Morticia Knight enjoys a good saucy tale – after all, who doesn’t? Since she loves several genres, you may find your heroes in a contemporary, historical, paranormal or sci-fi setting. One of her passions is bringing people’s fantasies to life on the page, because life is too short for even one boring moment. Her stories are volcanic in heat, deep in emotion, and sprinkled with doses of humor.

When not indulging in her obsession for books, she loves the outdoors, film and music. The Pacific Northwest is the ideal spot to enjoy both hiking and beachcombing. Once upon a time she was the singer in an indie rock band that toured the West Coast and charted on U.S. college radio. She now resides on the northern coast of Oregon, where the constant rain and fog remind her of visits to family in England and Scotland when she was a child.

She is currently working on the Sin City Uniforms Series and a BDSM spin-off to the Gin & Jazz series entitled The Hampton Road Club. A follow-up to Bryan and Aubrey’s story in Rockin’ the Alternative will be available in 2015.